The History of the Nicolet Roche
Friday, August 27th, 2010The Story of the Nicolet Roche*
The original Langladian people were a short statured, blonde haired tribe hunted nearly to extinction for their valuable pelts, a thick thatch that was highly-prized as Winter material among the aborigines of Southern Canada.
Surviving tribesmen disbursed through the Midwest, preferring Scandanavian communities where their low intellect blended well. Once assimilated, the Langladians adopted mainly Nordic names such as Johnson, and Larson. A lone exception being the Sommors tribe. An outcast heretic group known for refusing to use most modern comforts and conveniences (such as gears and shocks).
The Langladians were generally a solitary clan/gaggle/collection, for few humans can adjust to their rather singular habits–mainly digging in dirt and creating seemingly random paths leading to nowhere. Sometime during the Stone-Age, the Langladians’ developed an incurable, and eventual instinctual, obsession of digging and path building.
Recent studies have theorized the ancient Langladian pathways were important meditative centers or perhaps useful psychotherapy. It is speculated that as the pathways became more difficult to traverse there was a spiritual goal intended. Mainly, chaos, destruction, and finally rebirth and order.
Current day remnants of the Langladians are easily recognized by their shuffling gait, calluses on their knuckles and infrequent outbursts of their ancestral language, consisting mainly of grunts. Another giveaway is the vacant, glassy-eyed stare, particularly on the mornings of weekends.
Unfortunately, for the modern day descendants of the ancient Langladians, the age of senility comes at a relatively early age, arriving just after the onset of puberty. By the age of 50 their lives are virtually over, and they wander off to their ancestral homes under interstate bridges, city parks and large forests.
The descendents declining numbers are also due in part to their mating habits which
tend to be solitary; however, you can sometimes hear their nocturnal mating
calls, a distinct staccato , “Please, please, please.”
The remaining pathways, now know as the Nicolet Roche Mountain bike trail, recently cleared of non-traditional debris, are the sole remaining original Langladian pathways. Whether it be for their consummate trail building skills, or out of pity, please Celebrate the efforts of the aboriginal Langladians. Use these trails, and enjoy them in the spirit with which they were created.
*As researched by RA Roberts
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